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Office Fantasy Football

We all have an office fantasy football team, whether we know it or not and each employee adds a little bit of zing to our working lives. Considering there’s 32.8 Million potential “players” in the U.K, it’s likely you’ll come across a few common stars. 

You might be sitting next to the “Office Joker” right now, or about to face the company’s biggest “Hot-Head” before making a cuppa in the kitchen.

So which players can you spot in your organisation and would you add them to your office football fantasy team?

You can read the stats for each employee below and then add them to your very own team and share it with your workmates.



A multiskilled performer with good...

Big Fish

They talk the talk pre-match and promise ...

Office Joker

A solid and reliable team player with capable...

Brilliant but difficult

A star player at the top of their game however...


A consistent performer with decent stamina but...


Highly motivated and driven, no-one doubts ...


Methodical and dependable the planner loves...


Famous on the field for their fancy footwork and...

Clock Watcher

Gets the job done but loves wasting time by...


Delivers high results, charismatic with a wealth of...


Fairly tenacious but loves to drop the mic...

High Achiever

Tactical genius and famed for their goal mouth...


Excellent on the pitch but don't get cornered...


This player has great defensive capabilities ...


The Off-sider’s keepie-upie skills are formidable...

Hot Head

Can run rings around the defence and their own...

Big Personality

Dribbling skills up to the job but can be left out...


This experienced player can score big when they need to...

Mystery Person

What's hidden up this mystery player's sleeve?

Snappy Dresser

Dazzling clean kit, shiny boots and ready to score...

The Messy One

Don't look in this player's locker unless you dare...


I think we've all been this player at some point...


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The Magician

A multiskilled performer with good sagacity, the magician knows how to spot an opportunity and make the most of it, helping to secure many a win for the team. But will they show up – on time, or at all?

If you are to fully benefit from their talent the magician will need to learn that the rules of the game also apply to them.

The reasons for their ‘cloak and dagger’ behaviour will need to be investigated, further action may be needed and rules re-enforced.

Big Fish

They talk the talk pre-match, promise outstanding passing skills, and seem to have a solid goal scoring record but can they cut it on your team?

They’re untested at this level. Only time will tell if this ambitious recruit can deliver for you or whether they will be out of their league.

To maximise your chances, you’ll need to ensure they’re properly inducted, on track with your game-plan and are effectively monitored and supported.

If things don’t work out as well as hoped, you may need to make a quick substitution, no team wants cries of a foul so get in touch with us first.

Office Joker

A solid and reliable team player, the office joker is capable of successfully managing many responsibilities and tasks.

They are tireless – taking the motto there is no ‘I’ in team to heart – ready to support teammates with challenges, scanning the horizon for dangers and keeping up team spirit with their banter.

The office joker will over time become a significant influence over your team’s culture.

Whether the office joker will continue to be an asset or will become a liability will depend on how he is managed.

It’s all too easy for banter to overstep the mark – causing friction within the team or potentially serious complaints such as harassment.

As manager you will need to ensure the right training and guidance is in place to prevent this from happening.

Brilliant but Difficult

A star player at the top of their game, an exceptional talent with an extremely valuable skill set. They know all the tricks of the trade – and more!

Professionally outstanding and highly focused this player will help to drive your team forward to continued success.

But at what cost? They know their worth and can be difficult to manage, could they be more trouble that they’re worth?

As brilliant as this player may be, as a manager it’s important to remember that fairness and consistency across the team is important.

Whilst this player may be hard to handle it’s important not to shy away from issues if action needs to be taken. Start by thinking about what specifically it is that makes this player ‘difficult’ to manage – is it actions, attitude, or something else?

Are there specific instances? Why may they be acting that way?

Sometimes a little extra coaching is required to tackle things so don’t hesitate to get in touch if you need some help.

The Coaster

A consistent performer with decent stamina, they always stick to the team strategy and meet minimum targets, but this capable player has more potential available and is wasting it in the dressing room.

They prefer an easy game to glory and although won’t let you down, you can’t expect to be dazzled by them either.

The coaster could be a greater asset if willing to change their attitude. They may need help to re-discover their motivation and love for the game, and a supportive strategy to encourage them to stretch their skills is key.

The Workaholic

Highly motivated and driven, no-one doubts the workaholic’s commitment to the team or the club. The first at every training session and the last to leave, the workaholic is putting in the hours and then some.

The workaholic seizes every opportunity to do the thing they love and has a great goal record – but at what cost? Whilst their commitment will be the envy of many a rival club, it’s important to manage this star doesn’t burn out.

Remember there are limits on how long team members should be working and the amount of rest that should be taken –  it’s important that these are complied with.

It’s also worth considering what is being achieved in these additional working hours and the quality of the performance.

Is it a case that your team can work better together to share the load?

Concerned about one of your players? Get in touch.

The Planner

Methodical and dependable the planner loves a game plan, highly organised and focused they try to plan for every eventuality and is on the look-out for opportunities and threats.

This has earned them a good reputation and is an approach which has brought them success, but sometimes you can just find yourself nutmegged, what will the planner do when they face the totally unexpected?

As a manager it’s important to ensure that your players know they can turn to you if they need help or support and that they feel confident in doing so.

Whether they have encountered a tricky situation and need the benefit of your knowledge and experience or are facing a health or personal issue which may affect them in the workplace it’s important to know about it so you can start tackling it together.

The Whinger

Famous on the field for their fancy footwork, excellent attacking, and epic goal celebrations, they’re more famous off the pitch for their whining.

This superstar has driven many a manager to distraction with his complaints. They will undoubtedly need some careful handling, but how?

First off, bear in mind the rules of the game – what may seem like whinges could in fact be grievances or the player may even be a whistle-blower.

If a formal grievance has been raised this will usually need to be addressed promptly via your grievance procedure.

If the player is a whistle-blower (generally speaking, someone who is  disclosing information about certain suspected types of wrongdoing where they reasonably believe it is in the public interest to do so) it’s important to act appropriately

Remember, whistle-blowers shouldn’t be subject to reprisals – it’s automatically unfair to dismiss someone for blowing the whistle and they are protected from being subjected to a detriment for doing so as well. 

Unsure whether one of your players is raising a grievance, blowing the whistle or just ‘having a bit of a whinge’?

Get in touch for help.

The Clock Watcher

This player has the skills and experience your team needs to get the job done, a reliable and skilled defender they can rise to the challenge of the game and perform under pressure…providing the match doesn’t go into extra time.

The clock watcher is not so much keeping their eye on the ball as an eye on the time, as soon as that clock gets remotely near 90 minutes, they’re dreaming of hitting the changing rooms. Is there anything that can be done to change their ways?

Your players should be on the pitch performing their best for the full duration of the match, not slacking off towards the end.

If this is becoming an issue in your team the first step will usually be to have an informal discussion about it –  find out if there are any good reasons for the behaviour.

If not, a reminder of the need to be working to the appropriate standard throughout the working day should hopefully do the trick.

If this is a more general issue across the team, you may want to think about whether there is any way to enrich employee’s roles or whether there is anything you can do to increase motivation.

Want to have a chat about a situation? Get in touch

The Lynch Pin

A charismatic player with excellent technical skills and a wealth of experience, the lynch pin is the ‘go to player’.

Able to get the job done where others can’t they bring the team together and delivers consistently high results. They may be key to ensuring your team’s rise through the ranks – but what would happen without them?

Whilst star performers are a fantastic asset, becoming overly reliant on them can leave you exposed.

You never know when something like an injury may take someone out of the game for a season, or they may feel the grass is greener elsewhere.

Having a training /  upskilling strategy in place can help you to ensure you have the skills you need in house to keep moving forward if something should happen with one of your key people.


The Disruptor

An up-and-coming player with a good set of attacking attributes, the disruptor has a fresh set of ideas and a different approach to the game.

They have an impressive record of outmaneuvering the opposition. They’re committed to achieving great things, making a valuable contribution, and proving their worth. But is your club ready for change and is it desirable?

Sometimes new ideas and different ways of working can be positive, where  someone has a suggestion, as a manager it’s a good idea to be prepared to hear them out and give it appropriate consideration.

If you decide you would like to take forward a proposal that could involve changes which affect team members or their roles, it’s important to handle the matter carefully and appropriately.

In many cases simply imposing changes could run the risk of a red card and/or upset in the ranks.

The High Achiever

A tactical genius the High Achiever has their career all mapped out. Famed for their goal mouth heading, they’re clearly set to rise through the ranks.

They could be one of your best players – but can you keep them?

With competition for team members fierce in some roles it’s important for employers to be on top of their game when it comes to thinking about retention.

Remaining competitive will be key and whilst this will often involve looking at areas such as salary and benefits, don’t underestimate the value many players place on things such as opportunities for career development and internal progression, flexibility and workplace culture

Getting these things right for your people can help you to keep your team together.

The Chatterbox

Renowned for exceptional tackling, person marking and ball chasing on the pitch the chatterbox is a player that is a favourite among many.

They get the job done well…eventually. Unfortunately, their excellent on pitch skills extend to tackling their own team-mates about everything from the weather to the latest TV plot twists.

The problem is, once cornered, whether at their workstation or in the corridor, there’s no escape.

Could a little less verbal dribbling from this player improve their (and others) performance?

As the manager it will be down to you to strike the right balance for your team. You want to have a good working environment where people feel comfortable, and can build strong working relationships. For many, having a chat with colleagues is a key part of that.

However, there is a job to do and if too much chatting is getting in the way, affecting performance, or distracting others you will need to step in to make sure your team is reminded of the boundaries.

The Slider

This player has great defensive capabilities which they have successfully deployed over previous seasons.

However, in his last few games his performance has started to slide. It’s looking like a game of two halves – can the slider turn it around?

Will you pick the slider for your team?

As a manager it can be tempting to sit back and see how things play out, but when it comes to a dip in performance the best tactic is usually to act fast to address it.

Leaving the situation can end up being an own goal with it becoming harder to manage later.

If your team member has been with you for more than two years the first step will usually be to meet with them informally to raise your concerns about their performance and try to find out what the reasons are for it.

This will help to identify what action (if any) is appropriate to take. Tackling poor performance can be tricky, so get in touch for practical advice on the facts of your situation.

The Off-sider

A competent and capable player, the Off-sider’s keepie-upie skills are formidable.

They’re a good resource but only if they can stick to the rules and avoid going too far.

Can you manage this tricky player?

When it comes to preventing conduct issues arising it’s important to ensure that your team know the rules of the game.

Have clear policies and procedures in place, make sure rules around workplace conduct are clearly communicated and that team members are appropriately trained.

This can reduce the likelihood of misconduct occurring. If something untoward does happen, get in touch.

The Hot Head

Able to run rings around the opposition’s defense, this player is quick footed, confident, and usually able to play well under pressure.

However, they can sometimes act without thinking and their formidable track record was tarnished when they recently muttered something about quitting and walked off the pitch in their last game.

Would you know how to handle this situation if an employee did this whilst at your club?

Will you choose the hot head for your team?

When faced with this situation a manager’s instinct can sometimes be to assume the player has resigned and add printing a P45 to that days’ jobs list but hold off!

It will usually be important to establish in writing what the employee’s intentions are, particularly if they have two years’ service or more – do they really wish to resign?

Have they acted in the ‘heat of the moment’ in which case it may not be safe to treat it as a resignation, has something happened which requires you to take specific action?

If a situation like this happens, get in touch we can help with advice on the circumstances of your case and, where needed, with correspondence with the employee.

Big Personality

A committed player, whose dribbling skills are up to the job, understands the team strategy and can perform well.

Unfortunately, their teammates are more likely to avoid them than pass a cross. Whilst the big personality player has some star qualities, playing well with others doesn’t always seem to be one of them. As a manager you may need to deploy some fancy footwork of your own to stop things from really kicking off.


Will you choose Big Personality for your team?


Team members not getting along or not working well together can cause all sorts of detrimental impacts including affecting performance and morale.

As a manager you will need to step in and try to get things back on track.

The first move will usually be trying to get to the bottom of what’s going on – what’s happening and why?

This will help to identify what can be done to improve the situation and what action is appropriate.

Remember to approach things with an open mind (particularly where team members have two years’ service or more), there’s likely to be more than one side to the story – especially if it’s a personality clash –  and it’s important to deal with this situation in the right way

Need specific advice? Get in touch.


The Diver

This experienced player can score big when they need to, because they’re highly focused and have the talent needed to succeed.

But sometimes they try and take a dive now and then, to benefit themselves. You may need to keep an eye on this player.

Will you choose the diver for your team?

The diver won’t be the first to fake illness or injury – team members ‘pulling a sickie’ to get time off is something managers can find themselves needing to address.

The good new is there are some simple measures you can put in place to try to reduce the likelihood of this happening in your team.

Having a clear sickness absence reporting policy, requiring a self-certificate to be completed for absences of seven days or less, a ‘fit-note’ for longer absences and carrying out return to work interviews can help to deter team members from taking time off for non-genuine reasons.

Monitoring sickness absences can help you to spot if there might be a problem e.g., a bad case of ‘Monday-itus’.

If you suspect an employee of pulling a sickie, get in touch for help with your situation.

The Mystery Person

This player’s well known for their exceptional management, and they often provide a few surprises, and it’s usually hidden up their sleeve.

Can this mystery person’s unexpected talents help to power your team forward?

Will you choose the mystery man for your team?

Discovering your teams’ strengths and building on them is a key skill for any manager.

It’s important to make the most of all your employee’s talents and one of the things that can help you to do that is to get to know your team, so you are aware of what they have to offer.

They may have picked up useful knowledge or experience through their personal lives, hobbies or past careers that could be helpful when applied in the workplace.

Take the time to get to know and support your team with regular catchups, you never know they may surprise you!

The Snappy Dresser

Dazzling clean kit, shiny boots, and strong attacking skills to match, most get a sense this player likes to look good.

They’ll score big for your team, but you might just wish they were wearing your actual strip whilst doing it…

Will you choose The Snappy Dresser for your team?

Sometimes team members can become a little forgetful (or creative!) when it comes to dress codes.

For a manager this is often a quick fix requiring nothing more than a gentle reminder to everyone about the required standards or a quiet word with an individual where needed.

However, things can sometimes be a little more complicated than an employee turning up to a team meeting dressed for a day at the beach (lilo included).

It’s important to be alert to issues such as discrimination when it comes to dress codes (for example employee requirements related to religion or beliefs) and to ensure that employees are treated fairly and appropriately. Need help dealing with a dress code issue? Get in touch

The Messy One

Decent marking, focused on the job and a grafter to boot this player will help your team glide to victory on the pitch.

Just don’t expect them to be able to find anything in the locker room after they’ve used it (and as for the team bus… more like a mobile skip!) This player clearly still has a few things to learn…

Will you choose The Messy One for your team?

It’s time the whistle was blown on the Messy One’s untidiness before things get out of hand.

Whilst they might be getting the job done, they’re clearly not working as effectively as they could be and their untidiness will be having an impact on their colleagues and their working environment (and it could even become hazardous).

Time to investigate the situation with the Messy One.

Find out if they aware of the expected standards of behaviour around tidiness, whether they believe their actions have fallen short of expectation and what reasons are causing their behaviour.

Next work out a ‘game-plan’ to address the issue or get in touch with us for specific advice.

The Impostor

Speed, skill, teamworking ability –  this conscientious player has it all and more.

They’re a great asset to any team – if only they could see it.

Right now, they feel like an impostor but with the right environment and support this player could really flourish. And it’s fair to say, we’ve all been there.

Will you choose this player for your team?

As a manager you can help your team by encouraging mental health awareness and creating a culture where all team members feel valued and appreciated.

Ensuring your team know they can approach you if they are experiencing self-doubt can help them to get support when they need it.

Investing in your team this way can really pay off, it can help to retain talent and allow you to get the best out of your people. 

Concerned about an employee in your workplace? Get in touch.


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